Quickies that are really bad

I bought Connor a Scooby Doo joke book the other day - here is just a sampling of the torture...

What has no head but a sore throat?
The headless hoarseman!

What Scary Scottish beast always rings the doorbell?
The knockless monster!

Are Zombies good at rollerblading?
No, they're rotten!!!

Hahahaha! Thanks to Running Press for such a baleful bag of jokes and Hanna Barbera for Scooby and those meddling kids!

Random thoughts

Things currently running rampant through my brain:

I can't believe it's the end of Baseball already.
Revision sucks
Rush Hour 3 was flippin' hysterical. Was it just me or did anyone else lose bladder control when Chris Tucker said "Help me, Lee, black people can't fly!" That movie was so politically incorrect, it was awesome!!
Hello, health and happiness to all my friends - especially the little ones!
Halloween is coming!
Who would have thunk that San Francisco is the #1 city to meet eligible, professional STRAIGHT men?
Ever had a kissed buttery nipple? Oh. Yum.
Mom drove the van! Up the driveway, but she did an excellent job!!! Way to go Mom, you are fearless!
I'm changing Ranger's name to Elmer. Stupid rabbits. You'd think by now (the count o' dead rabbits is FIVE, people!) they'd learn to have babies in yards other than ours.
Reality TV: I want Evil Dick (seriously, that's his name) to win Big Brother 8. He deserves it. ANTM Cycle 9 starts this Wednesday! Ever seen American Princess (on WE channel) - OMG, someone get these girls a real life. Or a brain. Or half a brain, anything is better than what they have right now. And quit calling yourself Americans, you're embarrassing me.
Cowboys won, yay!
Cherry-yogurt covered pretzels from Central Market are delicious and addictive. Remember that if you ever need to bribe me.
Congratulations to Cindy Munoz who just got the CALL from SourceBooks. Woohoo!

Have a great night!