Serenity ... What's That?

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

To those who know me ...

Taking a moment for some self-reflection because it's my blog and I can. So there. Pfft.

I'm totally not patient. I think I have the least patience of everyone I know. This is NOT a good thing when patience is a requirement. Ugh.

I tend to be stubborn and will rarely change my views. Especially not to suit someone else's delicate sensitibilities. It's an opinion, not an edict. Deal with it.

Use your own mind, form your own opinions, stand by your morals and sense of self. Don't bend for anyone. Don't lose yourself in someone else's expectations.

I want what I want. Don't we all? I hope I get it all eventually, too. I work for that a lot.

Bad jokes are the bomb and I'm tickled that Connor is following in my footsteps. His current favorite: How do you drown a blond? Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool.

The Rangers WILL do great next year! Trust me on this one.

While I'm generally an upbeat person, I have my moments of moodiness. Just because I'm moody, though, it doesn't mean I'm mad or anything is wrong. Funks are funks. They happen.

I still believe in happy endings.

I am very, very happy with my life. Thanks to everyone who is a part of it every day, those will be there in the future and those who make every minute wonderful. You know who you are. And if you don't ask - I'll be delighted to tell you.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

This day sucked with a capital S

This has been one of the worst days I've experienced in quite some time. Last week we bought the cutest little 5 month old Russian Blue kitten named Lance. Today, we had to take him back. All because of me. Turns out I'm allergic to cats. So bad, that my throat swells up in the middle of the night. Not a good thing. I'm currently suffering a migraine because I have literally been crying all day. So has Connor, which makes me cry even more.
Lance was a sweet little kitten (okay, except for that whole biting my face in the middle of the night thing) and we didn't take him back lightly. It was a heart-wrenching decision. I hope I never have to go through anything like this again. He came from a home that had three other cats and a whole house to roam. Quite unfairly (I can say that with hindsight and because I am still trying to convince myself I made the right decision today) we only gave him our wing of the house. It's big enough, but not a whole house. And we weren't here all day. But when we were, we always played with him and loved on him. And he loved on us back. That's what makes this so damn hard. He was already becoming a part of the family. And yeah, there are drugs I can take to make me unallergic, but with the other things... it just felt like the right decision. Made even clearer when we took him back and they put him back into the same cage with his brother. They immediately started playing and tumbling and carousing. I don't even think he noticed we were gone.
That comforts me somewhat.
But I'm still hurting. Mostly because I had to hurt my son (parents - I highly suggest you find out everything you can about keeping an animal before you get one - this is pure freakin' torture) but also because I did really like Lance a lot. And I'll miss him.
I hope he finds some young family to take him and love him and give him everything that we wanted to, but couldn't. And now, I think I'll go, cause I'm starting to cry again.
Damn it.